I love my students. The more I get to know them, the truer that statement is.

This past Thursday, I decided to have an afternoon activity with the class just for fun. We decided to talk about the ever intriguing topic of dating and relationships. I was happy to see that most students seemed to have healthy opinions on the subject. I was so proud of Takane, who said that if her boyfriend was trying to force her into activities she was uncomfortable with, she would say no with a capital N-O. Get it girl. Both guys and girls also understood the importance of protection, which was a relief. There was one minor exception to their healthy dating thoughts though. Randomly during the conversation, Vincent said (with a completely straight face mind you), “I want to have a sugar mommy.” All of the other boys agreed. A lot of students want a sugar mommy or daddy to buy them things and take them to the States, which is usually done in exchange for sexual favors. I explained that this would not lead to a fulfilling and happy relationship and is potentially quite dangerous, to which they responded “well, how else am I supposed to get to America?” I told them that, if they study hard, they might earn enough money one day to go themselves. The harsh truth is though, that most of them will probably never see the States. Even if they do overcome the struggles of secondary school and its associated fees, go on to University, get a good job and are capable of affording a ticket, they also must go through the unnecessarily difficult process of getting a passport here. I can see why the idea of a sugar daddy or mommy is so appealing.

While we were talking, I also learned about a rather interesting marriage ritual. Apparently, if a guy wants to marry a girl he has been dating, he will ask her to meet him somewhere at night. Then, he and his friends will proceed to “kidnap” her and take her back to his home. Once the man has paid the bride’s parents for stealing their daughter, they are married. At first, I was completely horrified by this idea. Generally speaking, I would prefer not to be forced into marriage through a traumatic kidnapping incident and have it be accepted as a norm. However, my students assured me that, if the daughter didn’t actually want to be married, she could simply return home. I hope that’s always the case.

While walking home that afternoon, Susan and I had quite an entertaining conversation with a group of my students. They were telling us about their various hobbies and skills. I learned that Khau, a rambunctious teenage boy who is still trying to convince me to marry him and take him to the States (aka make me his sugar mommy), is actually a dressmaker and makes his own clothes. Takane can braid hair and play netball, among many other things. Apparently T’sepiso and Chindo can breakdance. I however, am most curious to see Vincent’s talent. Apparently, he can “dance like he has no bones”. Now that’s something I’ve got to see.

At this point, my Monday afternoon plans consist of being fitted for a dress, watching some breakdancing and getting my hair braided. Maybe if I am lucky, I will also learn how to dance like I have no bones.